California needs a high speed rail connection to ABBAWORLD

In the oh-no-they-didn’t category of sustainable development, developers have brought us our heart’s desire: ABBAWORLD, a theme park in London themed on…well, ABBA:

ABBAWORLD theme park opens in London – MSN Music News

These types of development opportunities are once in a lifetime, so I have gone ahead and scientifically determined (back off; I’m an experty expert) an optimized HSR route, which clearly needs a perpetual and infinite Congressional earmark because of its national significance.*

Here is the map:

Just THINK of the efficiency benefits and the jobs that will be created by building high speed rail from my house, on 9th street here in my little berg, all the way across the US and across the Atlantic to stop at ABBAWORLD. It’s carbon efficient!

Yes, some misguided souls may wring their hands over cost, but it’s all about livability and keeping America great and…GETTING TO ABBAWORLD. What child in America should grow up without ever visiting the World’s Largest Rubber Band Ball or ABBAWORLD? How will these children, our children, know that they must keep their eyes on the stars if not so inspired to give flight to their dreams? Did Edison’s parents oppose High Speed Rail or keep the young man from visiting the World’s Largest Thingies? Did Einstein’s? No! Of course they didn’t!

Think of all the real estate development. Maybe the Vatican could put a satellite campus in Pigeon Hole, Tennessee right by the Days Inn Dollywood. The possibilities are endless. Endless!

Someday, one day, that glorious trip between my house and ABBAWORLD will be a reality on comfortable and fast HSR. Until then, here’s ABBA with their superfantastic silvery shiney sparkly minis and gold go-go boots (can you have too many pairs? I think not!) and bubblicious candy-color-balloons-floating in-a-transparent-tube set on Japanese tv:

HT to Go Fug Yourself.

*If by any chance my dean is reading this, you should know all this is publishable research. Highly publishable. I’m on the cutting edge of something big here.