For those of you worried about minor things like your dissertation and/or the general state of society/the planet/your children, you may have missed the fact that the NBA fined Laker center Andrew Bynum $25,000 for criticizing the officiating during the 101-96 loss to the Dallas Mavericks.

Now, ok. Suckitup, right? Bynum had a pretty bad game by any measure, and he can’t go pointing at the officials as the reason for his poor performance or the loss.

But.

The NBA isn’t paying Bynum. The Lakers franchise is. He can go talk all the smack he wants about his team, his coach, his colleagues, etc. But he can’t point out that the officiating was poor? Um. Doesn’t this strike anybody as unnecessarily controlling? What about when the officiating actually IS poor? What makes these guys so dainty boo-boo that they can’t take some snark? What he said was clean. It wasn’t exactly Mr. Sportsmanship, but we are dealing with great big children here.

Maybe I’m just bitter. My life is snark central. Senior faculty snooter me around shamelessly and get on my case when I screw up. Reviewers trample all over MY feelings. Nobody looks out for MY ego.

Dear Editor:

Reviewer # 1 criticized me. Everything he says is specious and hurts my little feelers. I am therefore going to assess him a $25,000 fine. Reviewer #3 agrees with me so he’s off the hook.

Sincerely,

Lisa