Unidentified vegetable object (UVO) in my pinko-commie CSA garden box

I opened my pinko-commie CSA box this week to find a vegetable that I can’t explain.

Voila Capture95

So far, it’s been good for poking my spouse with.*

*Oh, please, I don’t poke* him hard. It might bruise the vegetable.

So far, Brilliant Reader and fellow UCLA peep Tim suggests it is an Armenian Cucumber. Does anybody know what to do with them, other than annoying one’s spouse with it?