I have recorded every single noise in this goddamn house except the sound of my voice narrating my Keynote slides

Seriously, lecture capture is a giant PITB and yes I know barely literate dudes have garnered themselves millions of YouTube followers by recording their rants while driving and wearing those supposedly edgy sunglasses, but I–I, who penned one of the most tech-intensive papers in recent planning (not that recent, but hey, cut me some slack)–can not get my recording situation under control for online teaching.

I gave the same presentation 11 times yesterday, hoping to get it to record with ScreenFlow, only to find, time after time, that I wasn’t recording. I finally had to zap my pvram to make my stupid microphone to work, internal or external. I gave up. I posted notes instead.

I FINALLY got my microphone to work today, settled down to record via ScreenFlow, gave a GREAT lecture, still enthusiastic despite going over it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN the past two days. Go back to ScreenFlow. Not a thing recorded. Go Back. Get distracted, and come back two hours later to find that ScreenFlow has been recording the whole damn time I have been away, for reasons utterly beyond me, including the following noises:

  1. My dogs barking at passersby,
  2. Me telling them to STFU
  3. Us moving furniture around
  4. Andy and me having a conversation about whether elementary school kids still make fart noises with their armpits the way they did when we were kids, and how I tried to learn how to do that only to have one of my teachers tell me that girls can’t learn how to do that;
  5. My dogs barking at passersby;
  6. Me worrying that we have a beehive in the wall since Andy found some bees in his office;
  7. The sound of Andy opening windows so he can let bees out
  8. Us discussing some really tall weeds in the back yard.
  9. Us discussing how we really wish people treated horses better.
  10. Me complaining that I hate having to read books checked out from the library on the iPad since all I do is start at screens all day.
  11. The entire conversation of David, Aubrey, Olivia and me recording a podcast that Aubrey was already recording.