So this imposter syndrome thing…

I have earned both tenure and full professor at a very competitive R1. This morning I woke up really really early because I am starting my 28th semester teaching my 52nd college class today.

I rolled around most of the night and finally fell asleep about 6 am where I proceeded to have a dream in which

… advisor told me I’d never turn out to be much of a scholar.

Two points:

  1. My advisor never said any such thing to me. Ever. I can’t imagine him saying anything like that to anybody. A couple of members of my senior faculty have hinted at it plenty of times, but senior male faculty can be insecure and thus catty bunch so I will chalk it up that. (Yes, I just called male faculty “catty” and it felt as good as you might think. I encourage more people to say it more often because it’s both true, edifying, and extremely satisfying.)
  2. If I can feel this way as old and as far into the academy as I am, I think just about everybody probably expect to happen and to recognize what it is and forgive themselves the time when it sneaks up on them, too.

Good luck everybody. I am going to try not catch or give Covid to anybody and may be some use to my students. My goals have changed with the times.